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Scribble and Strum

It Is Breath.

10/26/09 11:42 pm - Jawbone

Jawbone lived in a Nashville cemetery
In a gazebo 'neath a tall oak tree
Just a kind, calm hobo who liked to stay alone
He'd never hurt a soul, blowin' on his saxophone

Jawbone was born one night in a funeral home
In graveyard walls, as a boy he'd roam
Through the green, green grass of dead Tennessee
He'd never hurt a soul -- not a soul he'd see

What happened that October gets me shiverin' inside
What was his name before he died?

Jawbone met a man under a cold bone-moon
With blood-dark skin and a big red spoon
He smelled of tin, peppermint, and lies
He wanted some soul -- what a surprise

Jawbone helped him dance, playin' on his horn
He blowed blue brass until the peek of morn
"Hey, you've got soul" said the man who lied
"Shame no one would hear it, once you had died"

What happened that October let him blow forever more
So sad, he lost what he was blowin' for

Manifold old moons have flown o'er the Nashville sky
But on a cold bone-moon you'll hear a tuneful cry
'Neath a tall oak tree in a ring of stones
Plays a hollow hobo, only made of bones

10/24/09 04:59 pm - "Secret Moments"

I spent the day writing this song, and I aim to record it Monday. Now that I'm in a new apartment, I'm freer to do so -- it's pretty exciting. Here are the lyrics, because I feel like sharing 'em. The title might change, but right now "Secret Moments" feels right.

Now off to watch people get Weeny on some pumpkins.

Secret Moments
I don't want to turn into that boss
The one who used to play in his own band
He'd talk about it daily, and he'd sigh
"I had to give it up -- now I'm a man"

*Well, I'm man
Yes, I'm a man
I'm not getting any younger
But I still understand
What it means to feel
I don't want to steal
Secret moments as my life
Wishing I'd done everything I can't

I don't want to roll back into bed
Keep the shades down low, slow silhouette
That comfort's for the crying and the kept
I want to be the master, not the pet

*'Cause I'm a man
Yes, I'm human
I'm so sick of sleeping
I've a purpose and a plan
There's this thing in here
See, I sing to share
Secret moments in my life
To keep it I'll do everything I can

+Now you can say I've got no style
Style is not the point, in fact
I'll let you worry about my style
I can drive while you distract

I don't want to make a million bucks
Unless I get to hold on to my heart
My soul, my self, my genuine jury
My own mask if I'm to play a part

*'Cause I'm a man,
Hell, a woman
And I know there are others
If that's you, I know you can
Use your instrument
We can represent
Secret moments in our lives
I've a feeling that's how everything began

Tags: ,

6/20/09 10:58 am - "Beta-Blocker"

I spent all of last night working on a pretty serious song I'm calling "Mom". It has to do with some recent revelations about my birth mother -- frankly, an exhausting subject to explore. This morning I made a little more progress with it, then put it down for later. "Mom" may take a while. I then fiddled around in a more playful and mood-positive manner, and what came out was "Beta-Blocker", a light look at medicating stage fright. Below are the lyrics. I, of course, would love to record it. Ha. It's interesting how creativity shifts, and how some songs need more emotional investment and time than others.

Beta-Blocker
I'm three quarters out and
Feeling hollow when I hit the stage
Now the fourth wall's a window
And I'm feeling like I'm in a cage
My fingertips are sweaty and I'm
The focus of a thousand ears
Now I'm kicking myself because
I didn't have that couple of beers

*I need a little something
To be the alpha that I know I am
I need a beta-blocker
And a doctor who don't give a damn

I paid my dues to the
Society for Timid Souls
Now I definitely regret it - I think
Their method has a couple of holes
Because it's not those around me
That make me shaky, make my knees grow weak
It's the inferior interior
In theory, it's my weary physique

*I need a little something
To calm my nerves and keep my focus tight
I need a beta-blocker
So I can rock this little room tonight

+A beta-blocker
It's gonna get me through this
(No worry, no more)
A beta-blocker
Is gonna let me do this...
(That's what they're for)

6/11/09 06:45 am - "Aquarium", "Let Me Out", "Sleep Till Summer"

Had an insomniac night; spent it in and out of sleep. I haven't had a night like that in a while -- it reminded me of more stressful days. Here's a set of lyrics from those days, reflective of where I am now. Sigh. This song still needs to be recorded (they all do), and it may be for the next collection (which is nowhere near completion).

Aquarium
Sheets of sand
Separate
In and out
Night and lightswitch day

I'll pour for you
And you can say
"Just take a sip
And wash away the grey"

Na na na...

A shiny screen
Reflects a guy
Who holds up high
His own testosterone

Amantadine
A blurry eye
A heavy sigh
"Oh my, how you have grown..."

Na na na...

A sturdy skin
Surrounds this house
Lifetight bricks
Where I asphixyate

Forever in
And never out
Please let me out
I hope it's not too late

________________
Hmm. That phrase "let me out" recently popped out of me in a more recent (March) song. Here are its lyrics (why not?):

Let Me Out
I was buried, yeah, I've been buried
For so long in the ground
Whistling, making sounds
Two feet under, yeah, getting deeper
As problems pulled me down
Every echo from the clown
Was deafening

I was buried, alive and buried
I'm not sure of what I did
But now I'm banging on the lid
The baby's crying, he sounds so certain
Of what we're trying to get rid
Lonesome pain, me and the kid
Me and the kid

*Though I was scared
Of what they put me in
It's Tupperware to me now
So while snow piles high
And the wind blows by
This coffin ain't to cry
It's to keep
It's where I sleep
Let me out

I was buried, but not defeated
Slept till summer, I woke up
Now pour the coffee in the cup
I've got my body, it may be shoddy
I've got my soul, I've got my mind,
And through the fiction I will find
Another way

*

Let me out
Let me out

________________
Hmm hmm. Here "buried" and "slept till summer" are direct references to another older song of mine -- "Sleep Till Summer" from a low, low point. Below are its lyrics. This one I do have a recording for, but...

Sleep Till Summer
I'm gonna sleep till summer
Eyes closed for a few
In a frozen slumber
Let the cold run through

My tired heart is close to dying
My tired mind is blue
I'm gonna sleep till summer
Let the cold run through...

*Drown the days in dreams of all I'd do
If my sky would shine and I could move
But my eyes are shut and I must lose
These heavy thoughts of crime, of time, and you

I'm under snow till summer
I'll try to hold it in
And as I get number
Forget about my skin...

*

+The summer heat won't treat me well
Days and nights of slow-burn hell
I stumbled slow and then I fell
For this...

I'm gonna sleep till summer
It's what I've got to do
I'm gonna sleep till summer
Or maybe just sleep through


________________
Oh, old feelings. Good to get them out. Good morning, good day, good riddance.

4/18/09 09:12 am - "Spring Thing"

Woke up, wrote a song. That felt good.
I'm in a lucky empty house today, so maybe I'll be able to record it.

Spring Thing
Falling up from show to show
To party then parade
Spring has sprung and I'm a lung --
Let's sit and write about it

Expelling morning particles
From the tender bed of dust
I'll trust that's just a modern must --
I couldn't do without it

*I open every window
Delete my memories
The hardest part's to keep the heart
This warm in winter freeze

Starting up the motor
The directive and the dream
No ice? That's nice, it will suffice --
My life is up and running

The beauty and the blooming
The birds rebuilding trees
The role of solar-in-control --
Seems everyone is sunning

*So open every window
Retrain my memories
The easy part's about to start:
To tame the April tease

*Open every window
Mind and heart, at least one eye
Let's sing of spring and everything
As it goes growing by

4/14/09 03:35 pm - "You Are Not Me"

I finished writing a song yesterday. I hope to record it soon.
I'm still in a sharing mood, so here are the lyrics.
I think they're better served with their music;
that's a big difference between music and poetry.
Some words are better sung than said, better heard than read:

You Are Not Me
So many people don't know where they are
Or where they're going to go
I'm one of these folks I know
(We're lost, lonely animals)
I hear your bloody fable
New from old, the vintage from the vine
Well, your advantages aren't mine

They're not mine -- how could they ever be?
We all have our own stories
And while I value allegory...

*Just don't tell me who to be
'Cause you are not me
Yeah, I see wisdom on your tree
Still, you are not me

Another problem rears its ugly head
And I'm thankful for the ear
It's not the same when you're not here
(Our time is so valuable)
These howls within me lack a
Harmony -- they echo there, alone
Till you provide the other tone

Another tone, another way to breathe
Your pounding rhythm heart
Can play the steady part, but...

*Just don't tell me who to be
'Cause you are not me
Yeah, yours is clever melody
Still, you are not me

+And while sometimes I wish
Another soul would carve me out of stone
This is my life to break!

Every mistake makes me an ancient plea:
"Make peace with what you've lost,
Count every mile you've crossed"...

*So don't tell me who to be
'Cause you are not me
We're nothing if we are not free
And you are not me

Just don't tell me...
You are not me...

10/29/08 07:12 pm - Am I A Songwriter?

Am I a songwriter?
Do I write songs?
Do my thoughts cling and linger?
Are they sturdy and strong?

When I put pen to paper
Do the words, as they flow,
Approximate gravity
Do they tug and let go?

What of a songwriter?
Is there purpose in wit,
Declarations, and daring
Cries of "beauty" and "shit"?

In my memories' melodies,
Rhythms, and tones,
Can I carry humanity,
Put meat on its bones?

What is a songwriter?
One who nourishes souls?
Or is it all for distraction--
Does one dare to draw goals?

I am a songwriter
I don't care or know why
My purpose is simple--
To make music, then die

6/19/08 07:08 pm - If I May Be So Bold

Born in Pomona, were you?
How about you drive on back,
Climb up your mamma's legs
Draw curtains on the cold

Lived in a taxi, did ya?
Served in the stomach of a shark
Well, fare is fair for many
It's shit, if I may be so bold

*If I may be so bold
You've gone soft
As soft as gold
You've grown that gut
To fit the mold
If I may be so bold

A hell of a husband, are ya?
Catholic Cathy would agree
I sat her down, she leaked her story
Her brother heard a bloody tale

You play the thumb drums, do ya?
I'm sure the kids would dig a go
Your beat died out in Chicago
Now you're a deadbeat, bet to fail

*

I've got to scribble on a scroll
Lower it into the hole
Until you realize your role
I'll bury you for what you stole

If I may be so bold

5/8/08 12:39 pm - Blue Man Blues

There's a cool breeze flowing from the east today
A cool breeze blowing over everything
But I don't know what it means
I don't know what it means

The air is sweet, water's glistening
There's a whisper in my ear when I'm listening
And I don't know what it means
'Cause it sure ain't what it seems

And that's the way

You've got a flower blooming where there wasn't one
And an animal laying in the gentle sun
I don't know what that means
I don't know what that means

And that's the way

3/14/08 08:33 am - "Was", "Cut the Cord"

Good morning.

I made two new recordings yesterday; an instrumental and and a lyrical, soothers for the times I needed them.
(If you'd like to hear them, click here.)


Cut the Cord

Signs flash light on the river
I won’t miss them when I’m gone
Behind these eyes, I remember
The bridge I’m standing on

Where is my home?
Why do I roam?
Abandoned
They cut the cord

If God made Joey and Mary
Then God made Mom and Papa, too
With all these years I’ve forgotten
How I ever relied on you two

No longer a son
A family of one
Abandoned
I cut the cord

Tonight I’ll cry me a river
As signs flash nothing, one by one
With salty eyes I’ll be walking
My back to the rising sun, one

I’m saying goodbye
Now I know why
Abandoned
They cut the cord

I cut the cord
We cut the cord
We cut the cord

2/26/08 11:01 pm - "We'll Be Fine"

I've recently renovated my music page and, once I have some time, I'm going to arrange and record some of the new songs I've been writing. (I've been writing lots of new songs.) Here are the lyrics to a sweet one I just finished tonight. A little fiction...

We'll Be Fine

There's a friend of a friend
Who told me you're troubled
That friend of a friend
Is no friend to me

I see nothing, no trouble
We're the happiest couple
Though these ignorant people
All disagree

*Yeah, we'll be fine
'Cause you don't lie

You used to have friends
Now you never see them
Your days are pure patience
Spent waiting for me

To come home from the furnace
To give you some purpose
No storybook knows us
Turn off that TV

*Yeah, we'll be fine
'Cause you don't lie
And, baby, I've got mine

+The boys are so jealous
I tell them you're so sweet
When you treat me this well
You just can't be beat

Because we're best friends
We're close like companions
We share all the small things
From deep in our hearts

Now you expect me to eat this?
Please, go and reheat this
I'm glad we've no secrets
We both know our parts

*And we'll be fine
'Cause you don't lie

We will be fine
You don't lie--right?
Baby, I've got mine...



A little dark, a little disgusting, but sometimes that's how it's got to be.

2/20/08 12:07 am - This Fate

Deep in the playground, a
Benchbound vagrant
Asleep, adrift--hey, I
Wonder if there's
Something to learn here
'Cause that might be
Me
Someday

Out on the corner, with
Only some quarters, a
Coffee cup, come on
Fill it up, man
Some compensation
May be all I
Need
To sway

This fate

1/18/08 12:12 pm - Four from Downtown.

These four clumps of words--a recent poem, recent song lyrics, not-so-recent song lyrics, and some sloppy prose from way back--are all inspired by or associated with Boston's Downtown Crossing subway station. I used to busk down there. Here they are, from most to least recent:

One Girl Singing
Why is the sound of one girl singing,
Out-of-view, behind a pillar,
Politely, perhaps happily,
The saddest bird I've heard today?

Half-kept off-key tune in unison
With iPod, Discman, or Zune.
Its trace pulls down my skin,
My heart, and my pen.

Tunnels, Underworld, Downtown Crossing )

__
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11/16/07 01:02 pm - "Tracy White"

Hello, all. It's a heavy, beautiful day here in Boston. Very cold, the kind of cold urging us to huddle for comfort and survival. That's one thing I like about winter. It's a love enabler, certainly. I feel warm and giving; I want to share myself with friends and loved ones.

Yeah.

I wrote this song a few years ago and lately my music-mind's playlist has been shuffling through it, Vince Guaraldi's "Linus and Lucy", Thom Yorke's "Harrowdown Hill", and Suzanne Vega's "As You Are Now"*.

Tracy White

Oh, Tracy White
Have you gathered for your flight
Left everything tonight
To penetrate the sun?

You've shot off too soon
Beyond these avenues
They don't matter to you
You're the only one

Soaring, high above it all
You're in, but be prepared to fall

Is time standing still
Is your stratosphere your will
Do you feel you've had your fill
Are you lowering your gear?

Well, if that's who you are
I'm sure you'll hit that star
Nothing familiar
Is bound to bind you here

So I'll wait here on the ground
While you trade your halo for a crown

(interlude)

So I look tiny to your eye
You look as small up in the sky

Oh, Tracy White
You're pulling toward the light
I hope you'll be all right
When you penetrate the sun




Hmm. It's a good day. Yeah, I know I should share the music with the lyrics. I need to buy that damn cable, so I can record! :)

_________________________
*I recommend Miss Vega's new album, "Beauty and Crime", highly. Amazing, authentic, touching, poetic music.

11/15/07 02:39 am - Drinks and Drama

*Drinks and drama
Drown, drown
By the office
By the pound
Most are here on
Opening night
Puzzle pieces
Under colored light
Love is here on
Opening night
To make a show
Of you

The playwright laughs
At his blasphemy
He has no idea
What it does to me

My best friend pours
Another month
It's killing me
For what that's worth

*

Talk of future
Talk of age
Talk up the glow
Push another page

11/10/07 02:48 am - It can sleep for years...

It's nights like this I'm reminded of a song I wrote back in high school...

Insomnia


It's four o'clock
My mind won't stop
And I can't get to sleep!

My heart has stopped
My jaw has dropped
Still, I can't get to sleep!

My gripes have turned me sour
There goes another hour
And here comes the sun to help me sleep

Every night
I feel the bite
Of insomnia's sting

Then up to fight
The pulsing light
That morning brightness brings

What else can I say?
This happens every day!
And I just want the sandman to...

Show me dreams
In a silver sequin scheme
You know the ones I mean
I was young then

They're in the dark
'Neath the shadows of the stars
My dreams would take me far
If I had them!



11/4/07 04:24 pm - Serenade

I promise, I promise
On dirty knee, beneath
Your window

My guitar undressed
In icy hands, beneath
Your window

I will never, never
Look on you again
With eyes clouded,
Inside-out

I know this, I know this
You are the art
I thought unseen

By sturdy eyes
As blue as days
And clear as infinity

I will never, never
Look on you again
With mind clouded,
Inside-out

I've heard the words
On browning tongue,
The song you'd sung,
Silent and young

I want this, I need this
Give back your heart,
Your burgeoning dream

Your guitar undressed
Meet me here, beneath
Your window

I heard the words,
Your honest song
In me, for long
It shall stand strong

10/31/07 01:47 pm - The Victory Game

Shards of spider glass
All over the sidewalk
Hint at the chaos
Of the night before

The victory game
A joy for the children
Turns boys into villains
Who shatter a store door

Tell me, what was the game for?

10/28/07 02:27 pm - "Baudelaire"

I spent the morning finishing a song. Feels good. I can't wait to record it--and I can, now that a friend has graciously donated me a microphone (thank you!). The next step is to buy a cable, then I should be back in business, so to speak.
Here are the lyrics:

Baudelaire

There's a little old
Lady in the snow
Don't you know
And she's sweating like
Fire in her coat
Though it's cold

In the mountains of frost
There's a little dog lost
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Out there...

In the middle of the
Night, on a hill
In the chill
She's calling out his
Name to the air:
Baudelaire

He's asleep, safe and sound
With the little girl he found
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Out there...

*And through the night,
She cries, she smiles
She's sad, she's glad
They dream for miles
When the light
Goes out for one
The sun comes up again

(interlude)

Now there's a kid, a
Girl, playing in the snow
Don't you know
And though his name's changed
I bet you know who's there:
Baudelaire

When he digs through the white
There's a terrible sight
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
In there...

*Through the night,
She cries, she smiles
She's sad, she's glad
She dreams for miles
When the light
Goes out for one
The sun comes up again

Through the night
She cries, she smiles
She holds him tight
And dreams for miles
Learns though the light
Goes out for some
The sun comes up again


When I first started working on this one, it was very fast and compact. In order to breathe and pronounce, I lengthened some parts and slowed it down a little. I think I'll record two versions of this and compare, hear if I really sound as tongue-tied as I thought. :-)
Tags: ,

8/21/07 10:51 pm - "Whole Lotta Lemonade".

Or maybe just "Lemonade". I wrote this tonight; I like it. I'm into my own wordplay. Is that wrong? Heh. This one is pretty much in the same vein, rythmically, as "Try", "Mama Don't Like My Mind", and "Them For You". Others, too. Chicka-Chicka, I'll call it. Basically, unplugged funk. Can you have that? Is that wrong? Heh (#2).

Whole Lotta Lemonade

Just wait and see,
Roman Numeral III,
When you get to be
Who you're going to be

There's another place
In the exact same space
You'll see a different face
On the old arcade...

You'll be makin' a whole lotta lemonade

Where you were playing games
Just won't be the same
They all have brand new names
From who staked their claims

It gets rougher still
Believe me, kid, it will
You won't know Jack or Jill
From your promenade...

You'll be makin' a whole lotta lemonade

Storm shakes the tree
And the fruit falls down
You might use the seeds
If you don't drown

On corners of your street
You sold it up so sweet
Strangers you would meet
Would call it quite a treat

Don't let the treat go sour
In the eleventh hour
You've gotta gather power
From that cascade...

You've gotta make a whole lotta lemonade

And you'll be makin' a whole lotta lemonade
[fade out, repeat, and softly:]
(Shift something into retrograde)
(Face the future unafraid)
(Hands off the hand grenade)
(Hope this isn't overplayed, ha)




So, who's donating me that microphone, is what I want to know. :-P

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